It’s a Thursday night in ~ my regional Chipotle and I it seems to be ~ to have perplexed the kind woman functioning behind the counter.

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“I’d favor one each of every your brand-new Lifestyle Bowls,” ns say. “The Keto one, the Paleo one, the Whole30 one, and also the various other high-protein one.”

“So you desire … every one of them?” she replies.

“Yes, please.” and then for great measure: “Do friend think that will be enough food for me?”

I’m joking through her, the course, and I can’t aid it because I’m ordering “Lifestyle Bowls,” i beg your pardon sound much more like other Gwyneth Paltrow would try to sell me via Goop ~ above the problem that they"ll drastically enhance my root chakra.

As a longtime wellness practice, I choose not to take part in everything wacko diet tendency is right now oozing its method from Reddit forums and Instagram influencers into the general public.

But, you understand what? Chipotle isn’t bad, and also I’m Men’s Health’s food and also nutrition editor, for this reason why no feed myself a heaping key of way of life for dinner?

After sorting points out through the Chipotle employee, and also paying $44.47, my wife and 10-month-old child all sat down to sample the bowls.

Chipotle Paleo Salad Bowl


When ns think that a salad, ns think the a mixture of at least 70 percent greens and 30 percent toppings. This Chipotle lifestyle Bowl boldly inverts those proportions, transporting a pile of barbacoa, a heaping splat the guacamole, some eco-friendly salsa, and also a couple of fajita vegetables atop a scattering the helpless chopped Romaine leaves.

I to be surprised to discover that ours Paleolithic ancestors knew exactly how to slow-roast or even pronounce “fajita,” but, choose I said, I’m not into these diets-of-the-moment for this reason I’m quiet learning.

Chipotle’s barbacoa is always well-seasoned and tender. Your creamy agakmall is precious the extra cost. Yet together atop lettuce with salsa stand in for dressing, this bowl brought about the biggest mess. Fluid pooled at the bottom of the bowl. I can barely taste the griddled onions and peppers. I want something come sop increase the sauce—like rice or quinoa.

The Paleo diet tells human being to get rid of whole grains from her diet, which is foolish not only since you reduce your intake of an important nutrients, but also because it renders you sad when you’re forced to eat a sloppy “salad.”

Chipotle Keto Salad Bowl


On a ketogenic (“keto,” for those of girlfriend in the know) diet, girlfriend eat a godawful amount of your day-to-day calories from fat. It’s one incredibly challenging diet come follow. Civilization who "go keto", beholden come a fat-burning state referred to as “ketosis,” regularly sacrifice fruit, whole grains, vegetables and other perfect normal, good-for-you foodstuffs for the sake of cut weight.

I’d imagine Chipotle’s Keto Salad Bowl would be a welcome reprieve for most Keto followers. The salad lots up on carnitas and guac, and you’re additionally entitled to part curlicues of cheese. There’s a red salsa, i m sorry lends a pleasant burn. It’s much more complicated than the one-note Paleo bowl, though still stretches the borders of a salad. It’s much more of a meat mound v Romaine adornments, which isn’t a complaint.

Chipotle Whole30 Salad Bowl


Wait, didn’t I just eat this? my wife and I try to puzzle out the differences in between what makes a Whole30 Salad Bowl and also a Keto Salad Bowl. Exact same Romaine. Same carnitas. Exact same guacamole. Gone is the cheese (so sad), replaced by those fajita vegetables.

From what ns know about Whole30, you’re forced to eliminate dairy, grains, alcohol, legumes, included sugar, and all pleasure from her life. It’s a very structured arrangement that, to me, sounds like entering the dietary variation of Dante’s ripe Circles of Hell.

That’s not a enjoy on Chipotle’s take it on a Whole30 offering, which, prefer the all-to-similar Keto bowl, is delicious and also hearty, if no still lacking in the yes, really “salad” component of the salad.

Chipotle twin Protein Bowl


OH my GOD RICE! ns don’t think that I’ve ever before been together excited to see level white rice in my whole existence. Divine COW and SOUR CREAM! This enjoy the meal resembles, well, a meal!

There are carbohydrates and dairy and chicken and also steak and my wife and also I room doing that thing where we’re surreptitiously trying come eat an ext than ours share from the best thing ~ above the table while hoping that the other person won’t notice and rest the unwritten marital relationship Code that dining the end equality.

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This key is goooooood, and it’s not only since the rather were simply okay. It’s because this key isn’t tied to the too-strict, no-no lists of Paleo, Keto, and also Whole30.

This bowl tells you, “Look, it’s okay to eat genuine foods. In fact, we’re walk to give you more genuine food so that you can experience every sorts of different textures and also flavors without guilt.”

“Thank you, dual Protein lifestyle Bowl,” friend say. And also then, don"t you recognize it, the key speaks come you again, in a to whisper so the the various other bowls don’t hear.

“Quite frankly, I believe that those various other bowls won’t be approximately for long. World like to enjoy their food and who desires to it is in shamed into eating actual food, anyway? Those other bowls are absent a key ingredient: joy.”

And then you protect against to concern if you’re stunner to hear a Chipotle dual Protein way of living Bowl call you specifically what you essential to hear.