Host kris Rock walk stand-up about Donald trump contracting COVID-19, the pandemic and the U.S. Government.

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Original wait date: October 10, 2020

Host kris Rock walk stand-up about Donald trumped contracting COVID-19, the pandemic and also the U.S. Government.

Not whatever that is challenged can it is in changed, but nothing can be readjusted until it’s faced—James Baldwin

Ladies and gentlemen, chris Rock!


Thank you! thank you! thank you! give thanks to you an extremely much! prior to we even get began let’s — you know, the elephant in the room. President Trump’s in the hospital indigenous Covid and you know, I just want to say my love goes the end to Covid.

This is a unique show, this display is quite different than every other show. There are so numerous — everybody in this audience has been checked and all week I’ve had things going up my nose. Every day ns come in below I haven’t had so lot stuff up mine nose due to the fact that I mutual a dressing room through Chris Farley.

I’ve gained to say, the audience, this floor right here, are an initial respond — what space they, very first responders all the audience appropriate here. Everybody right here they’re an initial responders okay they’re so good, us let civilization die this evening so they can see a an excellent show. Okay

Now, you know, everything’s — the people is insane right now. Yet one thing we deserve to agree upon, Covid has destroyed our plans us all offered to have plans before Covid. Mental we used to it is in able to arrangement stuff mine sister was gaining married, man. I paid Bell Biv DeVoe $80,000. And I can’t gain it back. I had actually tickets come Coachella, man. I understand 200,000 Americans are dead, however I’m not seeing Rage against the Machine this year, man . That is a travesty.

Now, one thing I’ve noticed around this totality pandemic. Human being are favor reassessing your relationships. That’s the large thing acquisition inventory friend know, a the majority of break-ups, a many divorces. And a most like renegotiations you know couples continue to be together yet they’re prefer “okay, we’re walking to remain together yet I’m informing you exactly what i don’t like about you right now. If we’re walking to save this walking you’re walking to have actually to adjust some stuff. Okay.” and it’s monster we’re doing that with our relationships. All of us are doing that through our relationships. Yet I think we need to renegotiate our partnership to the government you know it’s prefer — yeah, we have to renegotiate our partnership to the government it doesn’t work.

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I mean, i think Joe Biden should be the critical president ever before we require a whole new system it s okay I mean, execute we even need a chairman president? Or just figure out a new method to perform the task I mean, what job do you have for 4 years no matter what? present me one job. Prefer if you rental a cook and also he was making people vomit every day, carry out you sit there and also go, “well, he’s got a four-year deal”? We’ve just obtained to vomit for four more years i mean, to it is in the president of the United claims all you need to be is 35 and also born in the united States. So girlfriend know, if anybody deserve to be the president, then anybody have the right to be the president… That’s how we got in this predicament. You understand what i mean– i mean, it need to be some rules to being the president. You realize there’s more rules to a game show than running for president? Like, Donald trump left a game display to run for president due to the fact that it was easier. That’s right, there’s rules to it is in on “Jeopardy!” friend can’t simply jump on “Jeopardy!” you can’t litter your boy on “Jeopardy!” Or her son-in-law Steve Harvey can’t put his household on “Family Feud.”

It’s prefer real scrutiny, man and also do the democrats also want to win carry out they even want to success it’s prefer trump, the runs against — the democrats simply keep placing up 75-year-old world to run against Trump. Now, hey, one thing we deserve to say around trump. He got the most energy of any type of 75-year-old person on the challenge of the earth– also Mick Jagger‘s like, “slow down, Donald.” you know, trump is prefer — he’s prefer a dominant female boxer he’s favor Ronda Rousey favor damn, that she have the right to fight. And then friend go, “oh, she hitting girls.”

We’ve got to figure out our whole relationship we’ve acquired to renegotiate our partnership to the government the senate and the conference doesn’t occupational no, the doesn’t freaking work, man. The doesn’t work. And also why doesn’t that work? because they need freaking term borders okay we’ve i agreeed in the united says that we cannot have actually kings. Yet we have dukes and duchesses to run the senate and also the congress making decisions for poor people. That’s best rich people making decisions for poor people. That’s choose your handsome friend offering you dating advice choose “I think you must go over there and grab her by the ass and also tell her it’s yours.” Yeah, that functions for you, Idris.

Hey, we’ve obtained to take this serious. We’ve obtained to obtain out there we’ve acquired to vote. However they don’t want us to vote, the federal government does not desire you come vote. Why do I recognize they don’t want you come vote? due to the fact that election day’s a Tuesday in November. Why– anybody here ever before put miscellaneous on a Tuesday in November– walk anybody obtain married on a Tuesday in November? Church ain’t ~ above a Tuesday. also Jesus stays clear of Tuesday. you know, if this display was “Tuesday Night Live,” it would have gained canceled in 1975.

I mean, that’s why we’ve obtained to vote, man. And we’ve got to take it it seriously. We’ve acquired to take it significant you know, choose I watch the republicans take it serious. Girlfriend know, you watch fox news, Sean Hannity‘s mean. Every day! He’s looking friend in the camera, he’s informing you it’s the finish of the world. Listen to me and every time I watch Anderson Cooper, he’s with Andy Cohen on brand-new year’s eve, blowing a kazoo. drink rose. It’s favor of food they believe Sean. Girlfriend know, Walter Cronkite was prefer the most respected guy in news you know why ’cause we never ever saw him in shorts okay?

But we’ve obtained to take this serious, man we’ve got to take the totality government significant we’ve got to take it the — whatever going on ideal now, we deserve to lick this okay we deserve to beat this if we all job-related together. You know, James Baldwin said, “not whatever that is faced can be changed, but nothing deserve to be adjusted until it’s faced” okay every right? We’ve got a an excellent show for you tonight. Megan thee stallion is here. Therefore stick around! and we’ll be ideal back.