Just a few years ago, a lost script because that the Andy Griffith display was found. It was uncovered at The Snappy having lunch in Mt. Airy, phibìc Carolina, Andy Griffith’s hometown. Efforts to learn an ext about this script have actually proven futile. Calls to people connected with the show were never returned. Therefore, we at elafilador.net have no selection but to run the script and also let ours readers sign up with us in wondering what might have been.

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The death of Helen Crump

ACT ONE

Sheriff Andy Taylor and Floyd the barber space sitting in the courthouse as soon as Gomer Pyle loudly bursts with the doorway.

Gomer: Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! miss out on Crump’s dead!

Andy: What’s that Gomer? You’re all out of breath.

Gomer: miss out on Crump’s dead. She got run over by a college bus.

Opie and also his friend Arnold then come running into the courthouse.

Opie: Pa! Pa! miss Crump’s dead! She’s really dead, Pa. Arnold and also I observed it happen.

Andy: Now, Opie, you’re all the end of breath too, just like Gomer. Arnold, deserve to you simply tell me what happened?

Arnold: Sure, Sheriff. You recognize that new kid, Chester Fields, who just moved right here from Winston-Salem?

Andy: Yeah, I’ve seen him around.

Floyd: pretty boy, Andy, and from a good family.

Andy: I know that, Floyd. Go on, Arnold.

Arnold: Anyway, Chester was caught passing a note in course to Johnny Paul.

Floyd: one more nice boy, Andy.

Andy: Uh-huh.

Arnold: So miss Crump it s okay mad and also writes a note for Chester to take home to his parents. But then the bell rings and everyone leaves the classroom. So miss Crump takes turn off after him through the note. She runs the end of the building and also right in former of the school bus that’s simply pulling up. Well, the bus runs her over. It was favor in a book I check out once.

Floyd: What publication was that, son?

Andy: never ever mind the now, Floyd! Well, due to the fact that I’m the Sheriff, I better go under to the school and write increase a report.

Gomer: Andy, have the right to I ride over with you in the formation car?

Andy: Sure, Gomer, yet you don’t need to blow the siren. There’s no rush in getting there now. Hey Opie… have the right to you contact Miss Peggy and also give her the great news, I mean tell her what happened?

Opie: Sure, Pa.

ACT TWO

The following day Andy walks right into Reverend Tucker’s office. The Reverend has actually several balled up sheets of file strewn across the floor.

Reverend Tucker: Andy, I simply don’t recognize it. I’ve to be preaching funerals for over 25 years and I’ve constantly been able to come up v something nice to say around the deceased. Yet with Helen Crump, ns can’t come up through anything good.

Andy: Don’t worry about it, Reverend. You’ll think of something, I’m sure. Anyway, I want to invite friend over for supper tonight. Peg’s making foot of lamb, my favourite dish.

ACT THREE

Later the evening, the city hall is taking place. Andy is through Aunt Bee.

Aunt Bee: Well, ns guess I’ll miss out on Helen. I don’t understand why yet I guess ns will.

Andy: oh we’ll it is in okay, Aunt Bee. These points happen.

Aunt Bee: Well, I’ve excellent my component to lift everyone’s spirits. I’ve made two dozen jars of mine pickles to offer to the mourners.

A look at of pain is top top Andy’s face. He grabs his Deputy, Barney Fife, by the arm and drags him over to a corner in the viewing room.

Andy: She win everything, you know that? The last 2 days have been so nice and now she has actually to ruin everything v those pickles. … Hey, Barn, I’ve obtained an idea. …

Andy speak Barney his idea.

Barney: No way, Andy. I only go incognito in the heat of duty.

Andy: Think the the world you’ll it is in helping, Barney. It is in the line of duty.

A couple of minutes later, Barney, put on a lengthy dress and also a flowery hat, walks as much as the coffin, pauses and then set a seasoned of pickles inside the coffin. The walks away but returns 10 much more times over the next fifty percent hour.

Aunt Bee: that is the frail old lady the keeps going earlier to the coffin?

Andy: Oh, that’s Helen’s old teacher indigenous high school. Girlfriend know, she to be a huge influence on Helen.

Aunt Bee: She certainly looks stern.

Andy: oh she’s simply all tore up over Helen, Aunt Bee.

Aunt Bee: and also where is the Deputy the yours? the was claimed to assist me through the pickles.

Andy: oh don’t friend worry, Aunt Bee. Barney’s obtained that taken care of.

ACT FOUR

The pallbearers are carrying Helen’s coffin come the interment site but they’re tired and also irritable.

Otis: Barney! This coffin is heavy!

Barney: Pipe under Otis! pipe down!

Goober: He’s right, Barney. That feels choose we’re hauling Aunt Bee, not miss out on Crump!

Barney: Nip it! We put jars of Aunt Bee’s pickles in the coffin. Now unless girlfriend would choose to eat some of those kerosene cucumbers, you will certainly nip it!

ACT FIVE

The next day Andy, Barney and also Floyd space sitting external the courthouse.

Barney: that was a pretty good service yesterday but I don’t think Reverend Tucker stated one thing about Helen.

Andy: No, he just told a couple of stories around his days in ~ seminary. However all in all, everyone had actually a good time.

Barney: Hey Andy, wasn’t that Aunt Bee’s broach on Helen’s blouse?

Andy: fine , yes. The various other day Aunt Bee and I had to walk over to Helen’s to pick out some clothing for the viewing. So we were going with her dresser drawers and then we discovered Aunt Bee’s broach. Aunt Bee had actually suspected the Helen had actually stolen that from her on that females Auxilary pilgrimage to Charlotte. But Aunt Bee determined Helen might just have it.

Barney: the was nice of her.

Floyd: I saw Peg with you throughout the service, Andy.

Andy: Yeah, she had actually a pretty good time.

Floyd: Well, it constantly makes a pretty impression as soon as you bring such an attractive date to her girlfriend’s funeral.

Andy: Yeah, boy.

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Right in front of the courthouse, a quick man v a rumpled cap walks by. It’s Ernest T. Bass. He’s sobbing uncontrollably.