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Former Basketball Wives star Evelyn Lozada opened up about the lose of her unborn child, i beg your pardon played out in front of reality display cameras because that OWN"s Livin" Lozada.

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"It to be really hard for me come wrap my mind around what was happening," Lozada told ET. "You have so countless questions in your mind. You desire to conserve the pregnancy."

This would have actually been Evelyn"s 3rd pregnancy -- her second with fiancé, Dodgers" outfielder Carl Crawford.

"I think it"s something that will always stay with me," Lozada said. "I have the ultrasound photos, and also I still have actually my pregnancy test, and I feel like that"s the only picture that I have of mine baby."

She calls that baby she "little angel," and sometimes dreams of that he or she could have become.

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"I wonder if it to be a girl or a boy and how would she be," Lozada said. "Leo has brought so lot joy right into our lives, so ns can"t aid but come wonder what the would have actually been choose if I gave birth to the child."

Carl Leo is Lozada"s 1-year-old son with Crawford. In march 2014, he joined huge sister Shaniece, 22, from among Lozada"s previous relationships. In managing the ache of she loss, Lozada is make the efforts to emphasis on the silver lining, offering words of encouragement to others who could find us in her shoes.

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"One the the things that I would certainly say to the females that have dealt with miscarriages, or are about to go v a miscarriage, is the it"s no your fault," Lozada said. "I feel like every time something bad has happened in mine life, other much far better came right into my life. I"m walk to just sit back and wait to see what the is."

Lozada"s trip is recorded on Livin" Lozada, airing Saturdays top top OWN.

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